I had a disturbing dream last night.  Disturbing mostly because of one moment in it that really shook me up.  And since I've woken up, I haven't quite been the same. I just feel "off," and I think that dream has everything to do with it.

Which makes me wonder what are dreams, really?  I mean, there's science written about dreams, and medical studies, and pop mythology and even science fiction written about dreams.  We've heard/read all of that.  It's your inner sub-conscious; it's the manifestations metaphorically of your feelings; it's a memory of a different life you're living simultaneously through your mind.  Blah, blah, blah.  This is one of those times when I wish there was no mystery to it and someone just had the actual, factual answer.  I want the definition of dreams to be as clear as two plus two equals four.

Otherwise, it just allows me to come up with stuff.  Like, what if dreams are actually a form of dormant (pardon the pun) ESP (Extra Sensory Perception) abilities?  Where you have picked up the mental "transmissions" of other people during the course of the day, but you don't process it because of everything else that happens while you are conscious. Then when you fall asleep, your mind sifts through those transmissions. And it plays them back.  Through the filter of your own thoughts and memories.  Which is why dreams seem real, because they are based on the real thought patterns of other people.  Hey, some may be the residual thought patterns of people that have recently died, too. 

I know, I know - some of you are saying, what are you smoking?  But, is it any more crazy than the theories we saw in "Inception?"  Or "Altered States?" 

I've been told I should keep a running log of my dreams.  Because you best remember them right when you wake up, it's writing them down the moment you wake up.  That can get annoying, but it might make for an interesting exercise in storytelling.  It's possible that reading the account of dreams as they unravel back-to-back, could make for a fascinating tale.  The question will be, how mired in true facts will it actually be?  And if they are what I just said they are, then my dream last night is even that much more disturbing. 

Off to the clarity of day...

If you believe in String Theory, then odds are you would embrace the notion that at this very moment, as you are reading these words, that at least 12 alternate versions of you are doing something similar, in slightly-out-of-phase universes running parallel to the one you are currently sitting in.  Think about it.  Twelve or so "you's."   What would they be like?  What kind of different lives would you be living?  One of fame and fortune?  Or solitude and destitution?  Are you cool, or are you a prick?  And have those versions of you made the same choices you have?

The cool thing would be to invent a machine (let's call Doc Brown about this) that could put you in that universe with that alternate you.  Because I think that's just as cool as time travel.  To see what your life would be like, if...

In It's a Wonderful Life, George Bailey gets the unique perspective of seeing what the world would have been like if he had never been born.  What if in this alternate universe, you were killed in a car crash that in this universe, you remember just narrowly avoiding because you were late for work and you crossed that intersection where the drunk driver barreled through the red light moments after you crossed it.  Or what if you broke up with that one person here, that in the other universe you never did - and you have children with them?! 

From a writer's perspective, reading about string theory is like opening a vault of stories.  Yes, the TV series Fringe is exploring those realms every Friday night on Fox at 9 PM, 8 PM Central.  But it's a narrow focus.  What is there to think about if you explore the idea of alternate "you's," could be cathartic for some... or a waste of time if the thoughts of things greater than yourself has little value to you. 

I'd like to think of String Theory a little bit like the alternate endings to the movie, Superman II.   How would your life be different if you were Lois Lane and in one hand, you knew that Clark Kent was Superman and you had to keep that a secret and your love for him cast away.  Or if instead, you had no idea of his true identity and you lived your life in hopeful yearning for his affection.  What is better? 

I leave you, thus, with this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ0ggWsVi88&list=FLN-qclGqBzdGskhgE1eLHOw&index=1&feature=plpp_video

For today's blog, I want to share this gem I found on YouTube -- a couple of scenes strung together from "Play It Again, Sam" -- an early Woody Allen film. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNLd_HpyeBw&list=FLN-qclGqBzdGskhgE1eLHOw&feature=mh_lolz

There are lines in here like "I love the rain; it washes memories off the sidewalk of life."  Genius.

Enjoy.  I did.  This reminds me of some dating tortures back in the day...

Sometimes the hardest thing to figure out is what you really want.  You start life by just wanting to be fed. Then the concept of enjoyment comes in.  So you want to play.  Or watch something that brings you enjoyment. As the years settle in, you start to realize that you have to do things because you are expected to do them, despite what you want.  Like school.  Eating vegetables, or food that's good for you but not particualrly tasty.  Or the dentist.

The comes that thing called... decision. 

You are asked to decide things like, what kind of clothes you want to wear.  What classes to take. Who you want to make friends with.  To take drugs or not.  To drink.  Who to have sex with for the first time, if that is even a decision you get to make (but want to make). Soon, if you are so inclined, you are deciding what college to go to.  What major to take.  What career option you want to pick looking forward. 

Often what happens is that in the scramble to make decisions - to look for the things you want, and the things you are expected to do, and to find a niche in the world that will bring you money - what you really want becomes buried in a very grey sea.  Some people poo-poo that, believing they know with absolute certainty what they want.  Others, have no idea whatsoever. 

Today, I don't know where I fall in that spectrum.  I have been at both ends of it.  I have known exactly what I want.  And I have been clueless.  The powerless feeling of the latter is unsettling.  And right now, I am feeling a little unsettled.  But not because I don't know what I want.  I believe I do.  But I have never faced the situation where what I want, may not be the best option for me and for the people I care about.  Where what I want makes it all worse in the end, despite what feels all good now.  To the degree of it being life-changing. 

I am like Rick Blaine at the end of "Casablanca," who doesn't want to let Elsa go, but who sees the greater good in having her leave with Victor Lazlo. Of course, I think he's wrong - he is making himself and Elsa more miserable and it's only Victor who makes out in that scenario.  Or does he? After all, he's now with a wife who really loves someone else.  Maybe Rick's decision makes them all losers.  Maybe the famed ending of "Casablanca" is really flawed and a cheat if executed the same in real life.

Suddenly, I see it in a new light...

What about you:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pa-dGYjSq5k

Maybe at the end of the day, the only answer is... do what you want.  And don't apologioze for it. As long as you're not setting out to purposely hurt someone. 

My thought for today...

A Sunday sports round up

SOCCER

I attended my first ever soccer gmae yesterday.  It was at The Home Depot Center in Carson, CA, the home of the Los Angeles Galaxy.  We were running a little late, and arived at the 31-minute mark (in the first half).  I had to be told what that meant.  You see, I'm an American football fan and I get clock windng DOWN during play, not wonding UP.  Interesting.

The Galaxy were playing the Portland Timbers, who I was told are not as good of a team as the Galaxy.  But when we arrived, the Timbers were winning, 1-0.  We soon caught the Galaxy score on a goal from one of their best players, Brandon Donovan.  My date and tour guide into this whole new world of sports is from the Pacific Northwest and she was rooting for the Timbers.  Thus, we immediately decided a couple of beers were in order in case this turned into a Galaxy rout. This is the view from our seats:

Later, even tho I had no rooting interest in either team, the Galaxy did score again to take the lead.  And right at the 90-minute mark (basically the end of timed play), that soccer legend that even I have heard of - David Beckham - scored a goal right in front of us.  The place went wild. 

The final sore was 3-1, galaxy.  I would not be at all adverse to going again.  Oh, and this is me and my soccer trainer at our seats:

The next stop for me to a sporting event I have never been to: hockey! 

BASEBALL

As for my favorite baseball team, the Texas Rangers, they are 7-2 after nine games and leading their division. The thing is, they could be 9-0 and undefeated, except their closer has blowng two ninth-inning saves where the Rangers had the lead.  Their closer is a great reliever named Joe Nathan, who is recovering from major arm surgery that kept him out most of last year. 

Texas Rangers pitcher Joe Nathan

This is his attempt to come back from that surgery, and he has the track record to prove that he's an elite pitcher.  But those two blown games may be an indication that his arm has not come all the way back.  The Rangers may have to re-think him for the closer tole, as they have other good candidates in their bullpen to fill that role.  There will not be room for giving up a lot of wins in thet division - the Angels are better this year and will give the Rangers all they can handle going down the stretch.

Okay, kids, that was my Sunday sports report! 

More storytelling the next time we meet.

Thought of the day: There is no Tomorrow without a Today

The rains in Southern California have stopped and with a new morning has come a screamingly bright day, full of sunshine and some nippy winds. 

Today, I'd like to reference a short documentary on YouTube that tells the story of the Women Air Service Pilots of World Warr II.  Yes, women flew for the military then - over one thousand of them - but their story has not reached the mainstream as much as you would think. 

I bring this up because later this month, I will be unveiling a project that very much speaks to those women and that time period.  I've started a Page on Facebook to promote it: www.facebook.com/AThinSliceOfHeaven.  Check it out.

And check out this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6ztL3v4dBU&list=FLN-qclGqBzdGskhgE1eLHOw&index=1&feature=plpp_video

Tonight, I attend my first ever professional soccer (excuse me, footbal) game!  Details of this grand virginal journey to follow.

Friday the 13th has never been particularly scary for me.  I happen to like the number 13, and it's somewhat of a lucky number.  I was born on the 13th. 

I also happen to like the number 8.  A lot of significant milestones in my life have happened not only around that number, but the half or double of that number (4 and 16). 

Assuming you all are into numerolgoy, which I am not.  But I can be superstitious.

I'm writing a lot right now.  More than I have in a while.  There's an e-book I am penning, which you have seen the very first couple of pages of (in my earlier blog); there's a web sitcom I am developing, and I'm writing two motion picture scripts. I have gone back to my roots, which has been writing, while I pay the light bill doing the management thing.

I am also about to launch a short video trailer to a passion project.  Going to do the YouTube route and see how it is received.  This is a picture of me directing this trailer (I'm the director-wanna-be in the baseball cap!).

A short blog today.  It is grey and cloudy and soon to be raining outide. A great time for storytelling with a mug o' hot chocolate in hand.  And also to think. 

I have opened a book today, but the pages are missing. 

Till next time!